I wonder...

I wonder....what it would be like to have grown up with my dad by my side, I wonder how what kind of relationship we would have. Would my apprecitation for family and friends be the same, or would I just be an ordinary person who takes him for granted. I wonder how my life would have turned out differently, would I have chosen a different path, or would I been the better part of me. I Wonder....What it would have been like to know how I would have been raised, would my mom and dad be more strict, or would it remain the same. Would I have higher goals, from the example that they both give, or let my standards hang low, amd just give in. I wonder....what kinda different life it could have been, if things were different, and he were with me, watching my grow day by day. 
I wonder.... If I saw HIM heal the  ones that were so faithful, or if  I saw Him being tortured like some kind of prisoner. Would I want to be more faithful, or would I be the one to rebel. If I saw him hanging from that cross, would I sob or would I mock. If I could see the things which I believe, would I believe more? I wonder.... what it was like to hear the word of God, Him standing so near. I wonder.... If I could have been one to be prepared for the coming of the Savior, if my lamp would have been lit, as the Savior walked my path. I wonder.... how differently I could have turned out.
I wonder....about the future, and what it will bring. Will my vision of what I want to happen, turn out like it think, or will it be the opposite, and be nothing like I want. I wonder....If i will find that special someone, and live with him forever. I wonder....about my kids, I will bring into this life. Would I be the kind of mother to nuture and to love. Will I grow old with my hisband, or will the worldly thing intertwine, and ruin what we have and never be the same. I wonder.... What kind of evil will influence the lives of our loving kids, will they choose the right path or think otherwise. What will their lives have in store. I wonder.... if ill be the example to show them the truth to keep them in line, when modesty hits them hard. I wonder....If my life will turn out the way God plans.
I wonder....If He can hear me as I'm knealing by my bed, If He hears and answers every prayer, like everone has said.  Does He speak through the scripture, and tell me what to do, when times get rough, is He walking with me step by step. I wonder....if He notices every cry, thats made by that trial. Does He guide and protect me when I'm scared or close in danger. I wonder....If He's always near me, though I trust Him so. I wonder....If I have the support and love, when I need him most. Will I listen to that voice that whispers in the air, or will I ignore it because I do not care.
I wonder and wonder as life goes one, with the faith that God has provided me, I know I must walk on. I know times get hard and I have to just believe, but sometimes I wonder, If my prayer are being heard.
Life brings so much happiness, that I have to live day by day, but theres always that wonder, what the outcome might say.
I wonder....but I will always stay faithful each and every day!


" The Lord knows who we really are, what we really think, what we really do, and who we really are becoming."
                                                                       ~Elder David A. Bednar