My Besties!

Man what would I do with out my bestest friends!?

 I love my friends so much....

My life has changed so much since I graduated from High School!

Ive made so many good friends! And we do everything together!

Staying up till 2 in the morning almost every night during the week!

Having Sleepovers at least 3 times a week haha!

Barbeques and dance parties!

Weve had many adventures together!

Im loving my life!

Amanda Nielsen

Sarah Nielson

Paul Church

Brendon Mayberry

Darcey Kiser

You guys are my bestest friends in the whole world!

I dont know where I would be without you guys!!



The Sacred Grove

This past week I went to New York with my Mom and Brother, and the Demars family.
This trip was amazing! I loved it. We got the chance to go to the Sacred Grove, and many other church sites around there, also in Ohio too! But what standed out the most to me was the Sacred Grove. Being there in the sacred grove it gave me a feeling of peace! As we walked around, I had my phone in my pocket. I had music by Paul Cardall playing. Peaceful music, that definitely set the mood! I started thinking about what went on in this grove, and the miracles that happened. It made me think of my own life, and the impact it had on me! Where would I be in my life, if Joseph Smith never questioned his faith? If he never thought to open the bible and read that one scripture. I am eternally indebted to Joseph. He is my Hero! So as I thought of this in the Sacred Grove, I gained a greater appreciation for what he did! We got to a point in the grove where there was a bench, we all sat down and Kent began to read the story of Joseph. What an amazing spirit that brought! As he closed up the story, he bore his testimoney, then my mom did...after she finished we sat there in silence. My mom was looking at my brother and me, with the look of ...you shoud bare your testimony. We sat there for about 5 minutes, till i began to speak! I expressed my feelings about how I felt about seeing the grove and being there! It made me sad to think of all those people out there who dont know the truth! Who dont know the happiness they could feel. I want everyone to have to truth and happiness that I have in my life..to have someone to turn to in a time of trial and affliction. I am so grateful to have that in my life, and I have Joseph Smith to thank...and all those men and women who stood on his side! I love them so dearly! I cant ever express the gratitude in my heart for the wonderful blessing I have in my life to have to True Gospel!
May we all follow in Josephs footsteps and reach out to others, to show them and preach to them, the happiness of the True and Only church...The Church Of Jesus Christ of Ladder Day Saints!!

I Know who I am….A daughter of God….who loves me….and I love him

Its crazy how your life can go upside down in such a short period of time. God has truly stretched his arm out to me. After my spiritual experience that I told you about in my previous blog post, my weekend was more spiritual! After that day at work, where I could not explain the emotions I was going through, I went home, and hung around. I thought about everything that I had on my mind the night before. When it came time to get to bed, I went in my bed and began to read my scriptures, and pray. As I was praying, I got this strong feeling. Well this feeling was the exact feeling that came upon me when I was receiving my patriarchal blessing. The feeling that I was floating, and that I was in some other place. I was well aware of what the feeling was…the spirit of God. I began to cry, and talked to the Lord like I would with a friend. I asked for comfort and help. Immediately I got another feeling, but this time it wasn’t the same feeling. It was a feeling of my Dad sitting right next to me. A feeling of him saying…I LOVE YOU! And tell your mother I LOVE HER TOO! I cried myself to sleep that night. I had an over whelming feeling of love and comfort. At that moment I KNEW for myself that God and my Dad have always been there. Its an amazing feeling to feel like even though your father has pasted on, you can still feel him near, and know that he loves you. For the first in a long time, I am honestly happy of the person I am. I feel good about the decisions I am making. I find myself a lot happier now because of what happened. If I wouldn’t have had those amazing experiences, I wouldn’t have ever made the great decision that I made, and I would still be struggling and would be unhappy. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about how grateful, and happy I am! The Lord is always there, it’s just the matter of you letting him through your door, and accepting him in your life. If we accept him, he wont let go. But we must do our best and show Heavenly Father that we are willing to do what it takes. . There is a song by Rascal Flatts that I love and reminds me of this...

“I Wont Let Go”

Its like a storm, it cuts a path,

it breaks your will , it feels like that

You think your lost, but your not lost on your own,

your not alone.

I will stand by you, I will help you through,

when you have done all you can do,

and you cant cope.

I will dry your eyes, I will fight your fight,

I will hold you tight and I wont let go.

It hurts my heart to see you cry,

I know its dark, this part of life,

Oh, it find us all, were to small to stop the rain,

Oh but when it rains,

I will stand by you, I will help you through,

when you have done all you can do,

and you cant cope,

I will dry your eyes, I will fight your fight,

I will hold you tight and I wont let you fall,

don’t be afraid to fall,

I’m right here to catch you, I wont let you down,

it wont get you down, your gonna make it,

Yeah, I know you can make it,

cause I will stand by you, I will help you through,

when you have done all you can do,

and you cant cope,

I will dry your eyes, I will fight your fight,

I will hold you tight, and I wont let go,

Oh, I’m gonna hold you and I wont let go.

Wont let you go,
No I wont!



Have you ever had those moments where you cannot explain how your feeling? You feel like you are feeling every emotion all at once. I was working today and one of my co- workers asked me how my weekend had been so far. I sat there and try to explain to him how awesome my night was, but nothing would come out. Last night I hung out with my friend Amanda. And for all those who know Amanda and I, we go wild when were together. We went bowling and had a blast! We did our normal crazy things. But that night was so different from any other day that we've hung out. It was a very spiritual night. After bowling, we went to Denny's to go see my friend Sarah. While we were there, Amanda and I had the best and deepest converation we've had in a very long time. It's amazing to know that when you go through a really hard trial, and you feel so alone. What you don't realize is, there is someone out there who is feeling the same heartache and hardship as you are.  In this case it was my best friend. I have been struggling with a trial for a while now, and all this time i've always thought that I was going through this hardship all by myself. Last night as we talked about our trial, that's when all these crazy emotions seemed to pile on me. I felt so scared, relieved, happy and sad all at the same time. I also felt the spirit so strong. That was the strongest I felt it in a really long time. At that exact moment I knew that I will always have someone to talk to when I'm really struggling, and most importantly, I recognized the spirit so strongly, it gave me comfort that God will always be there for me too, and has been all this time! So as I sat at work trying to explain how my weekend was, all I could say was it was amazingly fun and crazy and spiritual all at the same time. Yes he kinda starred at me and gave me a look like..umm are you on drugs! I've said so many times before that everything happens for a reason, and I can strongly say, that is a true statement. Everything that happened this weekend, God knew that's what I needed exactly to give me an extra push to becoming more like him. The last two weeks have been the best two weeks. I have recently started to go the singles ward. I have met so many new and fantastic people, and I met 3 of my new recent what I'll call best friends! Yes they are my best friends even if I haven't known then for two long, and don't worry I still have all the same best friends from before too. But meeting them has been such a huge blessing! I've been so involved in activities and have made many friends, and it's helped me in my time of trial. I have felt so alone, and ever since I met them, I've gelt so loved, welcome, and appreciated. I haven't been this happy in a long time! EVERYTHING happens for a REASON! And I am grateful for the blessings God has given me! I love my Father in heaven, and my earthly father! I know that they are always there for me in my time of need. I'm so grateful for my family, and the support and love they give to me, and for my friends who are always they for me, and make me feel like important, and cared for! Thank you all so much! I love this gospel so much. It's brought me such happiness. I know with all my heart that the gospel is true, and that Jesus died for my sins, and atoned for me. I'm so grateful, cuz without the atonement, I would be lost! I love this gospel!

"None of us will become perfect in a day or a month or a year. We will not accomplish it in lifetime, but we can begin now, starting with our more obvious weaknesses and gradually converting them to strengths as we go forward with our lives. this quest may be a long one: in fact, it will be lifelong. It may be fraught with many mistakes, with falling down and getting back up again. And it will take much effort. But we must not sell ourselves short. We must make a little extra effort. We would be wise to kneel before our God in supplication. He will help us. He will bless us. He will comfort and sustain us. He will help us to do more, and be more, than we can ever accomplish or be on our own."

— Gordon B. Hinckley

Please Don't Leave Me!!!

I spent those years with you making memories that you couldn't believe. If I could ask just one thing, it would be, for you to please not leave me! I have hard nights and just wish I had you for the rest of my life, but you were needed elsewhere. I cannot see you. All I can do is listen and feel you near. Half the time I don't recognize, and feel you, and that I was left here alone. I just need your help in making me better. Please don't leave me! I need that comfort that you used to give, and you telling me that everything will always turn out ok. I can't do it alone. Please don’t leave me.


I had to let you leave this world, after the short time that we spent together becoming the best of friends. I wish I could hear from you every so often, because I always miss your presence or your smile, and the happiness you brought. The only thing I hope is that you, don't leave me. I understand you’re up there for a reason, but what I'm afraid of most, is the friendship, and love dying. I may not know you as well as I'd like but there’s so much time and what I'd like best is for you to, not leave me standing alone.

I only let those tears drop when I lose hope, but I just need that small reminder that things will turn out. But I just need one thing from you!

Please Don't Leave Me!

Help me walk through life best that I can, by standing with me in my dreams, so I wake up with a reason to tread on till I see you next!

I give my hope to the Lord, and know he's watching and caring for me.

He knows when I'll need you most and send you my way!

But there’s one thing missing from me! I need to realize and open my eyes to when the Lord does send you my way. I don’t see so perfectly and I’m struggling and that

why I need you to…

PLEASE NOT LEAVE ME HERE ON THIS EARTH ALONE!

Blessings in my life!!!

Christmas is coming just around the corner, and I just love the joy it brings! Its a great time to be thankful for what we have.
Things that I am grateful for are:

The Church of Jesus Christ, being in the gospel has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. I can't even imagine what i'd be like without it. To think that I could be doing drugs, drinking, or even being immoral, and possibly pregnant, makes me happy to say, i have chosen the right path, and am living the kind of life i know my Heavenly Father wants me to. This Gospel has made me realize a lot of thing. Just knowing there is life after death. Especially for me, knowing I can see my dad again. I don't understand how people could get through life thinking, ill never see them again, but YOU CAN! I am so grateful for that knowledge!

I am Grateful for my Dad. He is my hero, and the light in my life. Even though i didnt get to know my dad as well as I wished,  what he did for me while he was still here was amazing. He had a huge impact on me, and thats why im where i am now. Even now and forever will he be that example, even if i can hear him, i can still feel him, and even sometimes cuz feel his hugs when that bad day comes around. Im so grateful to know that he is there for me, even when he's not seen.

My mom, WOW, she is amazing! She does so much for me day after day. She has to put up with my crap all the time, and that sometimes can be a tuffy. Im so grateful that she's my mom. There is no other mom that can compare to her. She is so strong and loving. She can always put a smile on my face. I am also so grateful for the wonderful things she provides me with, a home, food, and many other things that keep me strong and healthy. She does such a great job! I love you Mom, thank you!!

My sisters! I love them. They always keep me in line on those days where I may not look or smell so good, to the days that I have stupid boy trouble and am bawling. I know that I can always trust them. They are always so willing to do anything for me. They are so much fun to be around to. They just make you so happy, sometimes they make you laugh so hard you can't breath. I love them.

My Bro, he is my bestest friends ever, I love hanging out with my brother, even if it means I have to hang out with his dorky friends at the movie theatres.  Being around kyle is always fun, we always have a blast terrorizing on each other, punching and wrestling and what not, the bruises are always worth it. He's a great brother, and wouldn't ever trade him for any thing.

My BFF, Amanda! Being friends with her has been a great big blessing, She makes me realize how fragile and precious friendships are. We have made great memories and don't know what i'd do without her. She completes me. I am so grateful for her and the love, and craziness she brings to my life. My life would basically be sorta boring without her. She my Lil sis. Love you mand!

Sid, man he's like another brother to me. He's so much fun to be around. He's fun to terrorize too. I am so grateful for his friendship, he's made me realize how special the church really is, seeing his faith makes me wanna be so much stronger. He is such a great guy! I am so thankful to be able to share a friendship with him!

Kent, He is like another dad to me. He is also one of my Best Friends. We talk to each other about everything. I love him so dearly. He does tons for me. Taking me in like his own daughter and spending all that time together on the porch swing, talking for hours. I love it. I am so grateful to have him as my "Dad". I love you Kent. I couldn't live without ya!


I am grateful for so much, for everything I have, things I will get, trials, friends, school, work and much much more!! And want to share with everyone, especially during the Christmas season as we think of the true meaning of christmas, all that i'm thankful for!!

I wonder...

I wonder....what it would be like to have grown up with my dad by my side, I wonder how what kind of relationship we would have. Would my apprecitation for family and friends be the same, or would I just be an ordinary person who takes him for granted. I wonder how my life would have turned out differently, would I have chosen a different path, or would I been the better part of me. I Wonder....What it would have been like to know how I would have been raised, would my mom and dad be more strict, or would it remain the same. Would I have higher goals, from the example that they both give, or let my standards hang low, amd just give in. I wonder....what kinda different life it could have been, if things were different, and he were with me, watching my grow day by day. 
I wonder.... If I saw HIM heal the  ones that were so faithful, or if  I saw Him being tortured like some kind of prisoner. Would I want to be more faithful, or would I be the one to rebel. If I saw him hanging from that cross, would I sob or would I mock. If I could see the things which I believe, would I believe more? I wonder.... what it was like to hear the word of God, Him standing so near. I wonder.... If I could have been one to be prepared for the coming of the Savior, if my lamp would have been lit, as the Savior walked my path. I wonder.... how differently I could have turned out.
I wonder....about the future, and what it will bring. Will my vision of what I want to happen, turn out like it think, or will it be the opposite, and be nothing like I want. I wonder....If i will find that special someone, and live with him forever. I wonder....about my kids, I will bring into this life. Would I be the kind of mother to nuture and to love. Will I grow old with my hisband, or will the worldly thing intertwine, and ruin what we have and never be the same. I wonder.... What kind of evil will influence the lives of our loving kids, will they choose the right path or think otherwise. What will their lives have in store. I wonder.... if ill be the example to show them the truth to keep them in line, when modesty hits them hard. I wonder....If my life will turn out the way God plans.
I wonder....If He can hear me as I'm knealing by my bed, If He hears and answers every prayer, like everone has said.  Does He speak through the scripture, and tell me what to do, when times get rough, is He walking with me step by step. I wonder....if He notices every cry, thats made by that trial. Does He guide and protect me when I'm scared or close in danger. I wonder....If He's always near me, though I trust Him so. I wonder....If I have the support and love, when I need him most. Will I listen to that voice that whispers in the air, or will I ignore it because I do not care.
I wonder and wonder as life goes one, with the faith that God has provided me, I know I must walk on. I know times get hard and I have to just believe, but sometimes I wonder, If my prayer are being heard.
Life brings so much happiness, that I have to live day by day, but theres always that wonder, what the outcome might say.
I wonder....but I will always stay faithful each and every day!


" The Lord knows who we really are, what we really think, what we really do, and who we really are becoming."
                                                                       ~Elder David A. Bednar