I Know who I am….A daughter of God….who loves me….and I love him

Its crazy how your life can go upside down in such a short period of time. God has truly stretched his arm out to me. After my spiritual experience that I told you about in my previous blog post, my weekend was more spiritual! After that day at work, where I could not explain the emotions I was going through, I went home, and hung around. I thought about everything that I had on my mind the night before. When it came time to get to bed, I went in my bed and began to read my scriptures, and pray. As I was praying, I got this strong feeling. Well this feeling was the exact feeling that came upon me when I was receiving my patriarchal blessing. The feeling that I was floating, and that I was in some other place. I was well aware of what the feeling was…the spirit of God. I began to cry, and talked to the Lord like I would with a friend. I asked for comfort and help. Immediately I got another feeling, but this time it wasn’t the same feeling. It was a feeling of my Dad sitting right next to me. A feeling of him saying…I LOVE YOU! And tell your mother I LOVE HER TOO! I cried myself to sleep that night. I had an over whelming feeling of love and comfort. At that moment I KNEW for myself that God and my Dad have always been there. Its an amazing feeling to feel like even though your father has pasted on, you can still feel him near, and know that he loves you. For the first in a long time, I am honestly happy of the person I am. I feel good about the decisions I am making. I find myself a lot happier now because of what happened. If I wouldn’t have had those amazing experiences, I wouldn’t have ever made the great decision that I made, and I would still be struggling and would be unhappy. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about how grateful, and happy I am! The Lord is always there, it’s just the matter of you letting him through your door, and accepting him in your life. If we accept him, he wont let go. But we must do our best and show Heavenly Father that we are willing to do what it takes. . There is a song by Rascal Flatts that I love and reminds me of this...

“I Wont Let Go”

Its like a storm, it cuts a path,

it breaks your will , it feels like that

You think your lost, but your not lost on your own,

your not alone.

I will stand by you, I will help you through,

when you have done all you can do,

and you cant cope.

I will dry your eyes, I will fight your fight,

I will hold you tight and I wont let go.

It hurts my heart to see you cry,

I know its dark, this part of life,

Oh, it find us all, were to small to stop the rain,

Oh but when it rains,

I will stand by you, I will help you through,

when you have done all you can do,

and you cant cope,

I will dry your eyes, I will fight your fight,

I will hold you tight and I wont let you fall,

don’t be afraid to fall,

I’m right here to catch you, I wont let you down,

it wont get you down, your gonna make it,

Yeah, I know you can make it,

cause I will stand by you, I will help you through,

when you have done all you can do,

and you cant cope,

I will dry your eyes, I will fight your fight,

I will hold you tight, and I wont let go,

Oh, I’m gonna hold you and I wont let go.

Wont let you go,
No I wont!



Have you ever had those moments where you cannot explain how your feeling? You feel like you are feeling every emotion all at once. I was working today and one of my co- workers asked me how my weekend had been so far. I sat there and try to explain to him how awesome my night was, but nothing would come out. Last night I hung out with my friend Amanda. And for all those who know Amanda and I, we go wild when were together. We went bowling and had a blast! We did our normal crazy things. But that night was so different from any other day that we've hung out. It was a very spiritual night. After bowling, we went to Denny's to go see my friend Sarah. While we were there, Amanda and I had the best and deepest converation we've had in a very long time. It's amazing to know that when you go through a really hard trial, and you feel so alone. What you don't realize is, there is someone out there who is feeling the same heartache and hardship as you are.  In this case it was my best friend. I have been struggling with a trial for a while now, and all this time i've always thought that I was going through this hardship all by myself. Last night as we talked about our trial, that's when all these crazy emotions seemed to pile on me. I felt so scared, relieved, happy and sad all at the same time. I also felt the spirit so strong. That was the strongest I felt it in a really long time. At that exact moment I knew that I will always have someone to talk to when I'm really struggling, and most importantly, I recognized the spirit so strongly, it gave me comfort that God will always be there for me too, and has been all this time! So as I sat at work trying to explain how my weekend was, all I could say was it was amazingly fun and crazy and spiritual all at the same time. Yes he kinda starred at me and gave me a look like..umm are you on drugs! I've said so many times before that everything happens for a reason, and I can strongly say, that is a true statement. Everything that happened this weekend, God knew that's what I needed exactly to give me an extra push to becoming more like him. The last two weeks have been the best two weeks. I have recently started to go the singles ward. I have met so many new and fantastic people, and I met 3 of my new recent what I'll call best friends! Yes they are my best friends even if I haven't known then for two long, and don't worry I still have all the same best friends from before too. But meeting them has been such a huge blessing! I've been so involved in activities and have made many friends, and it's helped me in my time of trial. I have felt so alone, and ever since I met them, I've gelt so loved, welcome, and appreciated. I haven't been this happy in a long time! EVERYTHING happens for a REASON! And I am grateful for the blessings God has given me! I love my Father in heaven, and my earthly father! I know that they are always there for me in my time of need. I'm so grateful for my family, and the support and love they give to me, and for my friends who are always they for me, and make me feel like important, and cared for! Thank you all so much! I love this gospel so much. It's brought me such happiness. I know with all my heart that the gospel is true, and that Jesus died for my sins, and atoned for me. I'm so grateful, cuz without the atonement, I would be lost! I love this gospel!

"None of us will become perfect in a day or a month or a year. We will not accomplish it in lifetime, but we can begin now, starting with our more obvious weaknesses and gradually converting them to strengths as we go forward with our lives. this quest may be a long one: in fact, it will be lifelong. It may be fraught with many mistakes, with falling down and getting back up again. And it will take much effort. But we must not sell ourselves short. We must make a little extra effort. We would be wise to kneel before our God in supplication. He will help us. He will bless us. He will comfort and sustain us. He will help us to do more, and be more, than we can ever accomplish or be on our own."

— Gordon B. Hinckley

Please Don't Leave Me!!!

I spent those years with you making memories that you couldn't believe. If I could ask just one thing, it would be, for you to please not leave me! I have hard nights and just wish I had you for the rest of my life, but you were needed elsewhere. I cannot see you. All I can do is listen and feel you near. Half the time I don't recognize, and feel you, and that I was left here alone. I just need your help in making me better. Please don't leave me! I need that comfort that you used to give, and you telling me that everything will always turn out ok. I can't do it alone. Please don’t leave me.


I had to let you leave this world, after the short time that we spent together becoming the best of friends. I wish I could hear from you every so often, because I always miss your presence or your smile, and the happiness you brought. The only thing I hope is that you, don't leave me. I understand you’re up there for a reason, but what I'm afraid of most, is the friendship, and love dying. I may not know you as well as I'd like but there’s so much time and what I'd like best is for you to, not leave me standing alone.

I only let those tears drop when I lose hope, but I just need that small reminder that things will turn out. But I just need one thing from you!

Please Don't Leave Me!

Help me walk through life best that I can, by standing with me in my dreams, so I wake up with a reason to tread on till I see you next!

I give my hope to the Lord, and know he's watching and caring for me.

He knows when I'll need you most and send you my way!

But there’s one thing missing from me! I need to realize and open my eyes to when the Lord does send you my way. I don’t see so perfectly and I’m struggling and that

why I need you to…

PLEASE NOT LEAVE ME HERE ON THIS EARTH ALONE!

Blessings in my life!!!

Christmas is coming just around the corner, and I just love the joy it brings! Its a great time to be thankful for what we have.
Things that I am grateful for are:

The Church of Jesus Christ, being in the gospel has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. I can't even imagine what i'd be like without it. To think that I could be doing drugs, drinking, or even being immoral, and possibly pregnant, makes me happy to say, i have chosen the right path, and am living the kind of life i know my Heavenly Father wants me to. This Gospel has made me realize a lot of thing. Just knowing there is life after death. Especially for me, knowing I can see my dad again. I don't understand how people could get through life thinking, ill never see them again, but YOU CAN! I am so grateful for that knowledge!

I am Grateful for my Dad. He is my hero, and the light in my life. Even though i didnt get to know my dad as well as I wished,  what he did for me while he was still here was amazing. He had a huge impact on me, and thats why im where i am now. Even now and forever will he be that example, even if i can hear him, i can still feel him, and even sometimes cuz feel his hugs when that bad day comes around. Im so grateful to know that he is there for me, even when he's not seen.

My mom, WOW, she is amazing! She does so much for me day after day. She has to put up with my crap all the time, and that sometimes can be a tuffy. Im so grateful that she's my mom. There is no other mom that can compare to her. She is so strong and loving. She can always put a smile on my face. I am also so grateful for the wonderful things she provides me with, a home, food, and many other things that keep me strong and healthy. She does such a great job! I love you Mom, thank you!!

My sisters! I love them. They always keep me in line on those days where I may not look or smell so good, to the days that I have stupid boy trouble and am bawling. I know that I can always trust them. They are always so willing to do anything for me. They are so much fun to be around to. They just make you so happy, sometimes they make you laugh so hard you can't breath. I love them.

My Bro, he is my bestest friends ever, I love hanging out with my brother, even if it means I have to hang out with his dorky friends at the movie theatres.  Being around kyle is always fun, we always have a blast terrorizing on each other, punching and wrestling and what not, the bruises are always worth it. He's a great brother, and wouldn't ever trade him for any thing.

My BFF, Amanda! Being friends with her has been a great big blessing, She makes me realize how fragile and precious friendships are. We have made great memories and don't know what i'd do without her. She completes me. I am so grateful for her and the love, and craziness she brings to my life. My life would basically be sorta boring without her. She my Lil sis. Love you mand!

Sid, man he's like another brother to me. He's so much fun to be around. He's fun to terrorize too. I am so grateful for his friendship, he's made me realize how special the church really is, seeing his faith makes me wanna be so much stronger. He is such a great guy! I am so thankful to be able to share a friendship with him!

Kent, He is like another dad to me. He is also one of my Best Friends. We talk to each other about everything. I love him so dearly. He does tons for me. Taking me in like his own daughter and spending all that time together on the porch swing, talking for hours. I love it. I am so grateful to have him as my "Dad". I love you Kent. I couldn't live without ya!


I am grateful for so much, for everything I have, things I will get, trials, friends, school, work and much much more!! And want to share with everyone, especially during the Christmas season as we think of the true meaning of christmas, all that i'm thankful for!!

I wonder...

I wonder....what it would be like to have grown up with my dad by my side, I wonder how what kind of relationship we would have. Would my apprecitation for family and friends be the same, or would I just be an ordinary person who takes him for granted. I wonder how my life would have turned out differently, would I have chosen a different path, or would I been the better part of me. I Wonder....What it would have been like to know how I would have been raised, would my mom and dad be more strict, or would it remain the same. Would I have higher goals, from the example that they both give, or let my standards hang low, amd just give in. I wonder....what kinda different life it could have been, if things were different, and he were with me, watching my grow day by day. 
I wonder.... If I saw HIM heal the  ones that were so faithful, or if  I saw Him being tortured like some kind of prisoner. Would I want to be more faithful, or would I be the one to rebel. If I saw him hanging from that cross, would I sob or would I mock. If I could see the things which I believe, would I believe more? I wonder.... what it was like to hear the word of God, Him standing so near. I wonder.... If I could have been one to be prepared for the coming of the Savior, if my lamp would have been lit, as the Savior walked my path. I wonder.... how differently I could have turned out.
I wonder....about the future, and what it will bring. Will my vision of what I want to happen, turn out like it think, or will it be the opposite, and be nothing like I want. I wonder....If i will find that special someone, and live with him forever. I wonder....about my kids, I will bring into this life. Would I be the kind of mother to nuture and to love. Will I grow old with my hisband, or will the worldly thing intertwine, and ruin what we have and never be the same. I wonder.... What kind of evil will influence the lives of our loving kids, will they choose the right path or think otherwise. What will their lives have in store. I wonder.... if ill be the example to show them the truth to keep them in line, when modesty hits them hard. I wonder....If my life will turn out the way God plans.
I wonder....If He can hear me as I'm knealing by my bed, If He hears and answers every prayer, like everone has said.  Does He speak through the scripture, and tell me what to do, when times get rough, is He walking with me step by step. I wonder....if He notices every cry, thats made by that trial. Does He guide and protect me when I'm scared or close in danger. I wonder....If He's always near me, though I trust Him so. I wonder....If I have the support and love, when I need him most. Will I listen to that voice that whispers in the air, or will I ignore it because I do not care.
I wonder and wonder as life goes one, with the faith that God has provided me, I know I must walk on. I know times get hard and I have to just believe, but sometimes I wonder, If my prayer are being heard.
Life brings so much happiness, that I have to live day by day, but theres always that wonder, what the outcome might say.
I wonder....but I will always stay faithful each and every day!


" The Lord knows who we really are, what we really think, what we really do, and who we really are becoming."
                                                                       ~Elder David A. Bednar

Memories that mean the World!

We all have memories, some good, and some bad. I wanted to tell about some memories of those that I love the most.

Dad~
My dad and I have the most wonderful memories together. Probably so many that I cant remember most of them, so for all those who may have some memories of my dad and I please let me now. That would mean so much to me. One of the memories that really stand out to me is when my dad would always give me rides on our AWESOME motorcycles. He would ride up and down the driveway, at times i would even be sleeping in his lap on our rides. To this day my motorcycles are my most favorite thing to do!

Another memory is when my dad would come home from work, my brother and I would hurry and clean up the bottom of the stairs so that he wouldn't trip and yell, because we all knew that would be very unpleasant. After doing that we would run upstairs in the  family room to get ready to have our daily routine of taking off his boots and sock. My dad would sit down and right as he sat, Kyle and I would start to race to see who could get it done the fastest. Then after we would just sit there with him while he watched his golfing shows.

There was another time, where my dad would be sitting in the family room doing what he usually does, Kyle and I would be chasing eachother around the house fighting. Well we both knew the limit with my dad, and that e would not tolerate our fighting. So when I would want Kyle to stop chasing me and hurting me I would just run toward the family room and stop and walk quietly and sit by my dad, then Kyle being very oblivious he woul run in and get yelled at for being obnoxious. While I, the sweet innocent one was sitting by his side, hugging him, while laughing histarically.

There was one time where I was actually getting ready for school, and I was sitting on one of our stools, and many times before my dad always told me to never lean on the chairs, but did I listen? NO! So one morning I was leaning on it and BOOM, I fell right off the chair and hit my head on the cabinet behind me, and immediately the thought came to my head, SHOOT my dads going to get pissed at me, and what you know all of a sudden I here him say, "SHELBY!!!, and I answered back, yes, in a small quiet voice just waiting to get in huge trouble, he said back" Are you ok!? That was it, I thought I was going to be killed, but my dad so sweetly asked if i was ok.

I will never forget the last time I ever left the house with him. One saturday, I was sitting on my porch with my mom trying to figure out what to do. Well while sitting there for a little while, my dad come running up the driveway and starts yelling my name. SHELBY!!!  As he got closer and closer, than finally was in front of me, I replied, What? And softly he said, Wanna go get a sonic. And of course I said yes! So I went with him and ordered some drinks. To this day everytime I go to sonic, I always get the same exact thing, EVERYTIME!

I also remember that almost every night when I would go in to day goodnight to my mom and dad, I would lean over and give them a kiss, but after giving my dad his kiss he would always want a back rub, so rubbing his back almost became a routine of saying good night. I used to love giving him back rubs, it was nice to have our bonding time. Which i am now so grateful we had.

I really have had a ton of fun memories with my dad and have many more, I miss him so much and would like him to know that I love him so dearly!

~Amanda

Well Amanda and me, we've got memories of gallore. We have been friends for our whole lives so, we know each other by heart and spsend most of our time together.

So one memory that comes to mind first is when Amanda and me were little kiddies. We would always go outside with Amanda's karoke machine, and sing our hearts out and sometime even make up some awesome, cheesy dances also. Like our one dance that her sister Rachel helped us make up. It was to the song, Only Hope, from the soundtrack of the Walk to Remember. That was hilarious, I think we even performed infront of some of the neighbor kids.

Another fantastic memory of me and her was playing the upside down ryhming game. Amanda has some bars outside in her back yard and we would always go out there and hang upside down on one of the bars together and would just say a random word, then try to rhym that word with as many as we could think of, and while doing it, we were laughing histarically, non stop!

Amanda and me had a lot of outside games that we loved to play like the shoe game! Oh that was a classic. We played that game till we were like 15. Its where we would go on her swings and once we got swinging pretty high we could count back from five and on one we would kick our shoes off and see who could kick it the farthest, and of course Amanda loved torturing me so she would kick it on her roof and I would have to climb a freaking tree and get the stupid shoe. It happened several times. But that game was a blast!

We also used to play tether ball all the time, we would get so into it and laugh so much that we would end up peeing our pants, and really we did pee our pants once or maybe twice. But when we played we were not nice to eachother. We always seemed to hit each other on the head or something like that. Gotta love tether ball.

So of course we had so many memories growing up but some recent ones that have happened are, Road Kill of that was great fun. What we did was, during the summer, we would go over to wasatch, and would take turns laying on the side of the road, like half way on the curb, and one of us would act dead, while the other was hiding to watch the cars pass by, our goal with this game was trying to get strange reactions and to get people to pull over, and we sure did. It was funny. Our record that still hold to this day is seven cars in one night. AWESOME RIGHT! Ya were retarded. I think we have a death wish or somethin.

Ok so another thing that we do right now is screaming at people in our cars. We would be driving around, and see some innocent people walking around and we would roll down our windows and scream at them to see the reactions, and it is so funny to watch how scared people get!!

We have tons and tons i could go on for hours so thats all for now.

Sid~

Even though I dont have as many as I wish I had with Sid we still have quite a bit.

Sid and I always have fun together. We are like Bro and Sis. I love having punching wars with him. Its so grand. I remember one night when Amanda, Alex, Sid and I went to a park and Sid taught me how to two step, which is awesome cuz I was always jealous, watching all them do these cool dances that I did not know how to do.

I remember the night that we were over at Amanda's house and I beat him at pool like so many times, I dont think that Sid could ever catch up to me. Sorry Sid but its true hahaha!

I remember Black friday night Shopping with him and Mandy, That was fun, he helped me pick some awesome shirts for kyle's birthday. Thanks Sid.

Well there are a lot more but they just havent popped in my mind. But I love Sid and am going to miss him terribly when he leaves on a mission.

Hi! To start off, I am Shelby, and I am 18 years old. I am one of those girls who love everything about life! I go day by day, trying to be the best that I can be. I love spending time with the ones that I love most, my family and closest friends. I strongly believe that being close with your loved ones is the most important thing in life! I also am very fun and crazy, I spend my life having tons of fun, but also keeping my standards. I come from a family of eight. Four sisters and one brother, and my lovely parents. I am LDS, and believe that it is  the one and only true church.